“To be or not to be: that is the question: Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing end them? To die: to sleep; no more; and by a sleep to say we end the heartache …”
-William Shakespeare, Hamlet
But what if “To be or not to be,” suffering or taking arms, or even choosing death, are not paths of true choice, but only paths of control?
Whether in Shakespeare’s time or in our time, events of L.I.F.E., like unflappable, indefatigable waves, are going to rush our individual shores of existence. The question is not whether we choose to live or die, it is whether we choose to exist freely, without control … how we decide to face an event. In other words, there are ways to choose “not to be” which do not include death, but when they lead to great unnecessary suffering, one may wonder if they are not worse than death.
Responding versus Reacting
When a challenging event comes along, we can choose to step back, to see the world directly with a healthy, functional M.O.L.E., and decide upon a course of action that maximizes our “I” and minimizes our “Me,” reducing unnecessary suffering for ourselves and for others.
We can respond as free beings.
Or, we can choose to try and control the event using an outdated and ineffective M.O.L.E. By doing so, we react, and our attempts to control the event and everyone around us only leads to unnecessary suffering because we are no longer free to see the event clearly; we have blinded ourselves with the masks of our “Me’s,” our egos, and have begun to heap big servings of suffering upon ourselves through control structures and problem behaviors.
Right now the world faces a problematic pandemic with no immediately foreseeable end in sight. Many human beings are reacting vehemently to the many new lifestyle changes, the shockwaves of the event. Feelings of sadness and isolation are reactionary, as well as disobedience of rules meant to protect the general public, leading to even violent protests against authorities and governments. Such protests include refusal to follow safety precautions which encompass threats against the health of others.
And all this reacting has had no impact on the virus whatsoever. No mask-less COVID party or belligerent protest has kept the virus from mutating or helped to save lives.
But such reaction has led to suffering, raising stress and depression levels for reactors and for those trying to protect the public. Some may even argue that the anger, denial, violence, and irresponsibility towards COVID is worse than COVID itself.
How to Respond instead of React
I, like many others, have chosen to respond. Though I lost a meaningful, profitable business, I have chosen to pursue several new online businesses, including writing this blog, in the hope of selling North Path books in the near future in order to help others minimize unnecessary suffering.
It was not easy, especially since losing my business was a final event in my dark years. But when I realized that I could change my M.O.L.E., that I could stop being a prisoner of events, stop surrendering my free “I” for controlling “Me” structures, by letting go of control, I was able to stand openly before L.I.F.E. and to respond freely. I did not have to create further unnecessary suffering for myself or others to achieve my goal of survival.
I chose to be, not in terms of suffering Shakespeare’s “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune” … but by facing life’s slings and arrows directly, openly, and freely.
Then suddenly they were not slings and arrows anymore.
Yours in the infinite joy of the “I,”
Phoenix Richardson.